Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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