I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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