I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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