My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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