put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
