He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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