i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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