Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
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