i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
