I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I deserve this hangover.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
