they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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