Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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