He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
