Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
