Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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