I must be too annoying 4 u.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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