You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
