This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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