Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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