New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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