K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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