first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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