super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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