I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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