When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
