i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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