His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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