dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
