I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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