Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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