Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
