Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
