can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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