Me too!
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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