Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
