I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
