that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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