I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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