Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize