You're a womanizer and a bitch.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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