Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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