Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
