ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
