Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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