Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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