She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
