bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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