I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
