absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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