hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
