a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
