Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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