He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
