No stitches, just platelets and will power
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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